


there's a love and it grows

by svpportive



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, and also the roughest thing ive ever posted, cause they were so close to being at the same pre grammy party and im Pissed, lowercase galore, no fistfighting sadly, this is mostly catharatic, this is the wildest thing ive ever written, zarry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 10:25:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13499982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/svpportive/pseuds/svpportive
Summary: zayn and harry go to the same pre grammy party and make the same mistake — remembering.





	there's a love and it grows

**Author's Note:**

> this is for closure purposes, cause zayn n harry are really tearing my heart up and i've seen (and made lol) way too many jokes about zarry fistfighting. they can pretend not to know each other all they want but zayn can't uneat that candy thong.
> 
> this is written like a screenplay for two reasons 1) it was written in tumblr messenger and 2) im that dramatic and lack writing ability anyway. titles from golden by zayn cause like why not.make me cry z. this is for [jess](http://rainbowharru.tumblr.com), ily love you

zayn and harry

  * go to the same pre grammy party
  * make eye contact from across the room
  * make the same mistake of remembering.



zayn goes out for a smoke break, harry goes out there too. 

zayn speaks first, even as everything in him tells him not to. “ i didn't know u picked up smoking”

“i didn’t.”

silence. harry stares at the ground, zayn looks at the sky.

zayn talks after two minutes, "was from the dining table about me?"

harry doesn't look up. "you listened to my album?"

"you’ve listened to mine haven’t you?" it’s not really a question, but harry doesn't answer. 

zayn drops the cig to the ground to stub it, but harry steps on it first. "niall misses you" it’s the first real time they've made eye contact the whole night.

"i know. he told me"

harry just nods, and goes back to leaning on the wall and looking at the ground, at the smashed cigarette. "louis says that i have to talk to you tonight, that i have to let go. make the first move towards it at least."

zayn takes a breath, doesn't say anything.  _ let go _ rings in his mind. 

"what i just don't understand is," harry stops, his expression unreadable. zayn remembers when he used to know every one of this boy’s mannerisms, down to what the furrow of his brow meant. the man in front of him tells him nothing.

"after all this time, after what we've been through, the five of us, i suppose i just don't understand why you've cut us off. why you've painted us as something you  _ needed  _ to be cut off from, when at one point we were closer than brothers. i don't understand why you've made it so each of us has had to come up to you, individually to ask for forgiveness, to ask you to let us back in." another pause. he's said more than he's planned to probably. "what the  _ fuck  _ have we done to deserve that."

zayn doesn't know what to say. he's been dreaming this exact conversation for months now and yet, he's speechless when it counts. "harry,"

"we went through the same goddamn machine. we were there for you, we  _ tried  _ to be there for you. what should i apologize for zayn huh? what?"'

"i don't." it’s too faint, even if harry had heard it. "i don't need you to apologize. i'm the one who's sorry. i just wanted to avoid this. we've both always been stubborn haven't we?" harry grunts, looking back at his shoes, but otherwise lets zayn keep talking.

"but i needed to distance myself from that environment. it wasn't the same for me and you know that harry, i know you fucking do."

he's as soft-spoken as ever as he continues, but his voice gains an edge. "i expected you to understand i guess, that my experience wasn't half as enjoyable as yours and all the others was, and that i needed some peace and quiet in my brain, that i wouldn't have gotten otherwise. it was time, i needed to go my own way. and as someone who says we were" he mimics with his fingers, facing harry straight on, "’closer than brothers’ i thought you'd get it."

a beat passes. harry nods stiffly. "louis was right. i needed to hear that. thank you." he averts his eyes and turns to leave.

zayn rolls his eyes, and without thinking puts his hand on harry's arm to pull him back, "shut up, come back haz"

harry stops, but looks from zayn’s hand on his arm to his face, zayn realizes what he just called him and internally curses.

"listen harry, fuck." he moves his hand, and rubs his face. harry's still looking at him, impassive, but maybe zayn’s imagining things,  _ scared _ .

"i miss you. i miss you harry and you know that, deep down. just like i know deep down that you fucking miss me too."

harry blinks, but zayn soldiers on. his vision is getting watery. "liam made me promise to talk to you tonight too. we both might be stubborn, but you've always been braver, haven't you haz."

there's silence between them, the sounds from the party inside reminding zayn why they were here in the first place. the time and circumstances it'd taken for zayn to lay himself out like this.

he holds harry's gaze, his vision getting blurrier from tears before harry steps forward, and grabs him in a hug that envelopes him, that chases the cold of the night, that reminds zayn of eight years ago, somewhere worlds away. and he feels harry's nose budge his shoulder, dampening it a little, and it’s like he can breathe for the first time since he'd seen the guest list tonight.

he feels the both of them shake lightly, and the music inside turns to something lighter, and zayn thinks that while yes, they have more to talk about, that it'd be best to clear up further the misunderstandings and hurt that have built up, unfounded or not, over the few years, it's good to finally relax, to know that he and harry are on the same page again, and that Fate, that had pushed for the five of them all those years ago, had knit them back together again.

fin.

**Author's Note:**

> im [haztomlins](http://haztomlins.tumblr.com) on tumblr, feel free to yell at me. - parv <3


End file.
